Monday:
My aides called from Kampala. They tell me that one of the local papers wrote a front page story saying that I had been arrested in the States over forged American dollars
Tuesday:
Now this daughter of mine – Komutale, why is she so insistent on marrying an American who refers to himself as a ‘nigga’? What is that, and what does it mean? There are plenty of boys back in Fort Portal who would make good husbands
Wednesday:
I went to the nigga’s small flat which, has the biggest flat screen television set I had ever seen. He wanted to know if I would be more comfortable watching MTV or Channel O. Before I could decide, he put on some raga music and kept on telling me that the song was ‘dope’. Just before lunch, other nigga's came round and they were all wearing their trousers half way down their butts
Thursday:
My son, King Oyo that is, called from England asking when I was coming over to see him. I told him to hang in there because I still have to sort out Komutale and her nigga. I don’t understand the nigga because today, he turned up with a comb in his hair. When I pointed it out to him, he told me to “get with the programme.” I wonder what programme he was referring to
Friday:
I had a heart to heart with Komutale and told her about Herbert Tumwebaze. Okay, so the boy has buck teeth, but at least he did go to school and does not refer to himself as a nigga and his dad has more cows than anybody else in Fort Portal. Do you know what she said? It was beneath her status to marry a cattle herder
Saturday:
Seeing it is my last night in the States, the nigga took me out. He took me to a place where everybody was calling me “sista”. I tried to tell them that I am a Queen, but it they kept on asking if I was a Queen like Queen Latifah is
Sunday:
I tried to seek out Queen Latifah but to no avail. At least Komutale has heard of her and tells me that she is a good rapper though, she is into women and not men. That is a scandal! In the history or Toro, there has been no queen who has been into women. I have taken her off the wedding guest list
