Gilbert Bukenya - Former Vice-President

Monday:

I am due in court again. The CHOGM car scandal won’t go away. What was wrong with the cars? I bought them because they had televisions in the headrests so they could watch Bukedde TV but, Robert Kabushenga delayed with the launch. I wore the dark blue suit which Margret bought for me from Winna Classic. I really don’t believe it! I have been remanded to Luzira Prison. Me, mahogany? Will they put me in handcuffs and shackles? Will I have to board the bus?  

Tuesday:

It was a rough night because I didn’t pack a blanket, mattress, basin or tooth brush. Perhaps when Margret turns up she will bring me a bag of essentials? I looked out for Bad Black but, I am told they gave her bail.

Wednesday:

Margret brought me a mattress but they sent it back because it was not prison regulation. She got it from Nina Interiors for sh1.2m. They told her to get something cheap from Kitintale market for 30k. The guards also took away the fine silk bed sheets, which she picked up from my hotel, Katomi Kingdom Resort.

Thursday: 

I miss Kakiri. In Luzira, they do roll-call four times a day yet at Kakari, Margret does only one roll-call – at night to make sure I am home. We had morning parade near the lake and in the distance I could see Speke Resort, Munyonyo. I remember the good old days of Miss Uganda and smoking cigars with my friend Sudhir.

Friday:

Margret came to see me with tears in her eyes and trying to be strong for the both of us. She also came with a kicapo of food - boiled maize, kabalagala, gonja and millet porridge in a flask. Despite my wrongs, Margret still loves me.

Saturday:

My cellmate has been stealing my food so all I had for breakfast was black tea without sugar. I managed to get hold of a cellphone to call my former boss and plead for mercy, but that man Tamale Murundi, refused to put me through. What’s his beef?

Sunday:

The prison doctor came round today checking us for head lice, scabies and jiggers. He also showed me the double spread in the newspapers – ‘The life and times of Gilbert Bukenya’. It had a picture of me kissing Iyrn Namubiru. She really does know how to kukomba malusu.