Judith Heard

Judith Heard

Monday

Who exactly is this Forbes person and where can I find him? Does he not know I too am loaded? All he talked about was Sudhir, Patrick Bitature, Charles Mbire and Mukwano being the richest people in the land. I am sure that Forbes must be working for New Vision and with that I am going to call up Robert Kabushenga and have him fired!

Tuesday

What part of the country does Forbes come from to have Magazine as a surname? People, what Forbes does not know is Sudhir, Bitature, Mbire and Mukwano have never been to De Posh Bar in Kabalagala and splashed out drinks for everybody like there is no tomorrow. I don’t even have to go to office work like they do. My bed is my office and all I have to do is simply lie back and give Dr. Heard ‘some’   

Wednesday

I still have not been able to trace this Forbes fellow. He needs to recognise me, he needs to tell the world that I Judith Heard I am a loaded babe. Mbire does not even own MTN but he is a mere director who gets a salo at the end of the month. And if I was not buying airtime where would he be without me?

Thursday

Today Dr. Heard told me that Forbes is not a person but a magazine. Does he think I am stupid? Just because he is a muzungu he thinks he can put me down! Well I told him that my source – Zari had told me that Forbes is a freelancer with New Vision. And to you know what he did? He shook his head and walked away

Friday

It’s a girl’s night out today! We are going to Silk Lounge and I hope that that Elvis fellow has told Andrew Kaffoko to reserve my table for me. And I also don’t want to queue up like the rest of the plebs do

Saturday

Now check Dr. Heard! He vexed with me because I came back at 4:00am? Can’t a girl go out and let her hair down? As he is vexing let’s see if he thinks I am going to give him ‘some’. He is going to have to beg for it

Sunday

Yes he begged for it. Apart from that, he told me to go to Spear Motors and pick a new ride. You see girls what tight power can get you! Well that Forbes fellow may not have written about me but for sure when I get my new ride al least Bukedde will have me on the front page!